What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
