please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
