Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
