that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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