Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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