the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
