his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
