just tell him i said nine months
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
