I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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