At least make sure they are 18
Why
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
