you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
