Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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