Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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