I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think people are normalizing furries
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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