Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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