Nicole vs. Life
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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