I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
