His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
