Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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