so let's talk penis.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
