trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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