question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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