When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
