Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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