I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
how do you play pong handcuffed?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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