Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
