I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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