people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
