Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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