hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
