i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
