Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
