You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
