Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
