I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
