my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
