Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
