I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
