I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
