He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
