Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
