I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
