i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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