end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
