super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
