party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
