HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
