U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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