He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
