I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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