can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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