yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
