I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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