His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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