Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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