She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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