So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
